Title:
Haiku: Valentine's Day
Rating:
PG (slash implied)
Spoilers:
None
*
Haiku: Valentine's Day
I
am good at words: connotation, denotation, inflection, .
.I had access to my grandparents' library and spent many a cold, lonely
winter's night studying and learning. However, I am not good at expressing my
emotions aloud in words; my tongue stumbles and trips and my explanation
meanders, ultimately turning into babble.
There
are, of course, Inuit stories that would suit admirably. The ancient words of
an ancient people can allow me to express my feelings. But even as I think
this, I can picture hazel-green eyes rolling towards the heavens and hear the
moans and groans protesting yet another story from the Frozen North.
No
Inuit stories, then.
A card, perhaps. Millions are marketed
just for this purpose: to say in print what one cannot comfortably say aloud.
I've slipped into the stores on lunch breaks or during errands, perusing the
various cards. Rack upon rack of cards, almost an infinity of printed words
that tell the simple message "I love you." Humorous
words. Solemn vows. Achingly
sweet declarations. The wrong words, though. I can hear the words he'd
use, an admonition to "don't get mushy or anything." I can hear him
as plain as I can hear Diefenbaker's grumbles as he
sleeps now beside my desk. As plain as the pain
I
feel when I look at him and let another day go by without telling him how I
feel.
No
Valentine's Day card, either.
I
will not rely upon other people's words. Neither Inuit nor Hallmark can
interpret the joy I find in this maddening, marvelous man. The words must be my
own, must convey my message and must be heard by his heart. I will find words that capture the spirit and
essence of Ray Vecchio: tall, elegantly sculpted, possessor of an inner
strength and fire and beauty that calls to me and as necessary to my heart as
my life's blood.
Ray.
A haiku, personified.
A haiku, then, for Ray.
***
This
city, strange, cold -
I
look into clear green eyes
To find my soul's warmth.
.
. . A Valentine from Benny to Ray
The end.